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But I Don’t Feel Thankful….


But I Don’t Feel Thankful….

What do you do when your life is going south?  What do you do when it is “THANKSGIVING” and you have just lost a loved one… or just lost your job… or just lost your marriage? Surely you cannot be expected to give thanks… can you?

November ends today and we all know its “Thanksgiving” month. It’s a time to reflect and to consider all the ways we’ve been blessed. It’s a time to give out gratitude to God for our families, our home, our health and our jobs. Ultimately, to count our blessings and hold close the ones we love.

I appreciate that perspective because I think that there is a lot to be said about a heart of gratitude. It’s important to take the time to thank God for all that is good in our life.
But what if giving thanks meant more than just counting our blessings?
What if being thankful meant surrendering our struggles and trials too?
As much as I want to be thankful for all the good God has blessed me with, if I’m completely honest? The last year was one of the hardest years of my life. It’s come with a lot of trials, a lot of tears and a lot of pain but looking back at it now, all I can say is “count it all joy”

Through the hard times, the most profound lesson I’m learning involves redefining of my definition of Thanksgiving. I am challenged to be more than just “thankful.”
I am challenged to do something even more difficult – I’m challenged to trust.
I am proclaiming right now that in times of suffering, a heart of gratitude means more than just saying “thank you.” It means believing that God is who he says he is. Believing that he is good, that he is love, and that he is for me. Believing that he never changes, that he never fails, and that he is working all things for what is good.
Whatever it is you are struggling through right now, may this Thanksgiving be a reminder of God’s everlasting faithfulness for your life.
No matter what it is you are going through: he has brought you this far, and he won’t leave you now. 
Whatever it is that is weighing on your heart and burdening your mind, be reminded that though you don’t understand the reason – there is a loving God that does, and he is walking by your side every step of the way. He will never leave you, and he never has.
His plans for your life may include weeping for a moment, but joy will always come in the morning.
No matter what it is that we’re going through, I believe with all of my heart that if we knew what God knows, we would want to be exactly in this time and exactly in this place. As hard as it may be, there is no better nor safer place to be than smack-dab in the middle of his good, pleasing, and perfect will. Because he knows best and there is no plan greater than his plan for our life.
Life doesn’t always turn out how we expect it to, but it turns out just right. I look back at the struggles of my past in light of who I am today, and I see God’s hand and purposes every step of the way. He has brought us this far, and he won’t leave us now.
This is all part of a bigger picture – a picture far more beautiful, lovely, and perfect than we could ever begin to dream of.
It seems so counter-intuitive to rejoice over trials but this Thanksgiving, may you and I be challenged to trust God more, to believe him better, and to know him deeper. His heart is good, his love is pure, his plans are magnificent. Whether we feel it or not, it doesn’t cease to be true.
May you be challenged to be more than thankful this holiday season…as you lay down your pain and problems at his feet–and choose to trust him again. Grace and peace to you, dear one, as you learn to rest in the arms of a loving God.‎

See you in December…..

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Nkem Offonabo is a Banker, Entrepreneur, Humanitarian and Lead Editor, Crown Musings. She is passionate about Decor, Personal Development and Wealth Creation. She believes that every individual is unique and has potential for greatness if properly nurtured. She hopes to use her blog community to Inspire, Motivate, Empower, Transform and ultimately help people be the best version of themselves.



  1. Adaezenwa

    December 1, 2015 at 9:35 am

    Hi Nkem,
    This year has also been one of my hardest years and in November I had to fight the biggest battle I've ever fought. It was hard for me to be truly, honestly thankful. A few days ago, God opened my eyes to some of the awesome things that have happened to me this year, things I couldn’t have imagined this time last year. I realised that if I'm not feeling grateful then I haven't really stopped to count my blessings.

  2. Nkem Okechukwu

    December 1, 2015 at 9:54 am

    It's usually hard to be thankful for our trails but of you look within, you will find out that God was actually working out the best for you in that trial. We can only learn to trust His perfect plan no matter how painful. May God open out eyes and heart to trust Him even more. Happy new month love

  3. bolatito fashina

    December 1, 2015 at 6:32 pm

    Happy new all things! give thanks

  4. Nkem Okechukwu

    December 1, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    Happy New Month to you Bola.

  5. Chizoba Okoroji

    December 1, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    It's not always easy being thankful especially when you suffer a loss but just like you said,joy will always come.
    Weeping will only be for awhile. In my language we say,"odighi adighi de". Be strong and know that you can get through it. All the best.

  6. Nkem Okechukwu

    December 1, 2015 at 8:06 pm

    I count it all not…..for God has gone ahead of me
    Happy New Month dear

  7. Anonymous

    December 2, 2015 at 5:52 pm

    Hi darl,
    Thanks for this ministration as I have termed it. At some point in life, it usually turns sour, ugly. But then we should seek out other reasons to be happy/thankful, we should find happiness in other joys around us other than what we are passing through… We should try and understand that whatever we are passing through is just a part of our life/being…there are many other things to be grateful/thankful to God for around us and in our life.

    My addition to your uplifting post is that we also learn to appreciate other things going right in our life, appreciate / trust where God is taking us to at all time…let us look beyond our pains, setbacks and find other reasons to be thankful. Some are dead, maimed, lost more than just a loved once, lost their jobs, the list goes on…the truth is its indeed difficult to praise God in difficult times, but another truth is already identified by you…"there is God" who "knows the thought He has for us, pleasant and good thought to bring us to happier endings than we started"…
    May God help us to love Him, Trust Him, Thank Him… Just because…yes, Just because of all things going on in our lives… good and difficult.

    mum Zahra

  8. Nkem Okechukwu

    December 2, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    Mum Zahra, thanks for bringing another perspective to this post. Most times we are overwhelmed with our pains and the gravity of it but forgetting that some have gone underfeet and some are in excruciating pains in the hospital but we still have life and there is hope.
    Thanks again for finding time to comment. Love you much, please don't be a stranger

  9. Oyinlola Sobowale

    December 3, 2015 at 7:38 am

    Ah this is so deep. So profound. So real. Different from your usual posts too.
    When you have lost a whole lot you lose even the strength to be thankful for the air you breathe. This year I lost a loved one. A dear dear one and guess what I have done daily since then…I take life really simply.
    Some things aren't set straight in my head yet but in the deepest part of my heart I know God knows best and does everything for a reason. Am I thankful? Yes I am for the good times we had.
    Today, tomorrow I choose to trust God still and most importantly live fully…

  10. Nkem Okechukwu

    December 3, 2015 at 8:14 am

    Queen Christie! Though I didn't get to meet her, I know you both shared a life together and miss her. Let's challenge ourselves to be more trusting of God and learn to look forward…..

  11. Trendymother

    December 7, 2015 at 7:40 pm

    Hi Nkem, this post is deep and profound. It is a good perspective to life generally.

    I have learnt to thank God through my pains (not easy at all) because it opens my eyes to see the lesson therein, builds strength of charater in me and most importantly gives me the strength to be there for others than are passing through the same situation.

    Thanks for sharing.

  12. Evita O. Enwefah

    December 9, 2015 at 8:43 am

    I really needed to read words like this. This year wasn't the best for me but I always tried to remain grateful to God coz I know He has greater plans for my life. Through the hard times I have learnt lessons and it has made me even stronger. I still remain grateful. Thank you for sharing this. It touched a soul:)

  13. Nkem Okechukwu

    December 9, 2015 at 9:19 am

    @Trendymother, you are very much welcomed. May we never go out of God's grace and strength when we nèed it for ourselves and to comfort others.

  14. Nkem Okechukwu

    December 9, 2015 at 9:20 am

    @Evita, I'm glad this piece touched you in a good way. Receive comfort in times of trials, Amen.

  15. Nedoux

    December 26, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    Dear Nkem,

    I wish I could hug you right now, this message was what I needed to see right now.

    Whenever I get a little frustrated and feel like I have nothing to be thankful for, God reminds me to count my blessings. I am always grateful for the gift of life.

    Thank you so much for sharing this, God bless you. 🙂

  16. Nkem Okechukwu

    December 26, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    Nedu, it's e-hug till we get to see. God bless you immensensly and see you in 2016

  17. Pingback: Get Up and Over It – crownmusings

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