I once met a man who kept talking about settling down and never stopped talking about it to everyone who cared to listen. His point was that he was too lonely and alone, he needed a wife to fill an emptiness. He boasted about his achievements: a comfortable apartment, different cars, a well paying job, his numerous investments.
To him all of these was in preparation of his future; for his wife and kids to be and other expenses that may arise, to give them a comfortable life. He felt that with a woman in his life his lonely days are over and probably when the kids start coming he will never be alone anymore but this young man was indeed far from the truth, yes! Those can bring some sort of joy but there are lots of married people that still feel alone and empty.
What could be the reason?
There are many people out there with this myopic way of thinking. They expect that marriage will put an end to their loneliness and when these expectations are not met they feel disappointed and frustrated. The bitter truth remains that if as a single person, you are not happy and always feel an emptiness or void in your heart, marriage will not change that rather, it will worsen it.
I guess the one question running through your mind will be, how do I fill this emptiness before marriage in order not to put too much expectations or pressure on my spouse? In bid to answer that question, I would like to draw your attention to this:
“No human relationship can compensate for the emptiness of a life without God”
With that established let’s go further to explain and answer the above question elaborately.
Emptiness is a difficult emotion to simply describe. When you feel empty, it’s like a piece of your soul is missing. When you seek to fill this emptiness with things or people you will never get satisfied. But when you choose to let God fill up that void, you will find peace and contentment for your soul. When you have a relationship with God that goes beyond going to church, praying and being called a Christian, only then can you find real happiness. The kind of relationship I mean here is, walking with God. Not serving God only when it’s convenient for you or when things are hard and you need Him to save you. Walking with God entails worshiping God even when it’s not convenient for you, enhancing your communication with Him through prayers, praises, holiness and good works – then you are living a lifestyle.
Now let’s take a look from the Bible and see where God calls us, to fill us up in our emptiness.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” – Matthew 11:28-29
In the above scripture, God invites us to come and get filled up. He knows we will suffer and wander without Him and that’s why He is still calling us today.
“I am the vine, you are the branches. The one who abides in me while I abide in him produces much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing” – John 15:5
Further reading: Hosea 4:10 and Psalm 81:10
God states it clearly that apart from Him, we can do absolutely nothing. But in Him we can achieve so much in every area of our lives that includes our relationships. Let me state it clearly that anyone who lets God in or have a real relationship with God would know how well to love whomever God sends to him or her because God is their source of happiness. If a man or woman is empty and focuses on marriage to fill that emptiness, they will have less to offer spiritually and emotionally compared to a man or woman who seeks their happiness from God.
If you fell some sort of void or emptiness in your heart, this is a call to allow God in for real. I assure you that you will no longer have to depend on anyone to bring you happiness because you already have the source of happiness living inside of you. When you have done that, then you will know better how to love (whom God has brought into your life or is bringing), just as Christ loves His church – Unconditionally.
If you are ready to let real happiness and the fullness of God into your life, I will love for you to make this prayer:
A Prayer for When I Feel Empty
“Dear Father, I humbly come before you
With hollow heart and barren soul.
Wondering how life can be so full
And I can feel so empty.
I poured out all I had today…
And left no reserves of my own.
But I’m exactly where You want me to be-
Empty of self.
And now I’m asking you to make me Full of you.
I need you to flood the dry places
And fill the vacant spaces
So that I can overflow with your love
And give again”.
If you are already on this path to true happiness and walk with God, I’d love to hear from you. Kindly share your experience(s) and how it has helped you love better, the persons God has brought into your life.
Image Credit: SourcesofInsight
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